5 ways to bring more softness and nourishment into our daily lives

Too fast!

As the years pass by, life seems to become even more fast paced than it ever was before. Have you noticed this? In your own life and in the life of everyone around you, busyness seems to be prevalent. We are so exhausted, so depleted and for some reason, we seem to have made a collective agreement that ‘this is life’.

Is it though?

We were not made to deal with this constant onslaught of modern day have to’s. In fact, our brains did not evolve to cope with this never-ending bombardment of pings and dings, of endless to do lists, 24/7 news updates of tragedies occurring all around the world, of meetings, deadlines, pushing through our own limits… .

And yet, we rarely ever question this. We’ve become so accustomed to it, so desensitized that we don’t even notice anymore how it affects our quality of life, our ability to be truly human.

It’s like a fish in the water. The fish doesn’t know he is in the water until he is pulled out of it. Same for humans if you think about it. We consider our ‘normal’ everyday lives to be ‘normal’, until something disruptive happens and we are forced to face the facts.

In our exhaustion, we become foreigners in our own bodies, in our own worlds. We become angry and frustrated, we blame and shame ourselves and everyone around us, we become hostile, sad, and unable to activate our brain’s capacity to solve problems. We are overwhelmed by a sense of powerlessness that has us spiraling into complete detachment. We don’t notice all the beauty around us anymore, all the abundance. There is no sense of wonder or reverence for the world like we used to have when we were children. We become dangerously disconnected from ourselves and the world around us.

We fall asleep.

So how can we stay awake in our own lives?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this these past few years and this is what I came up with:

1. Slow down!

I know, easier said than done right?! Though it sounds simple, slowing down often feels very threatening to most of us, especially women. But I assure you that this is a pivotal step in becoming more present and aware in your own life. By slowing down, you give yourself the ability to zoom out and truly look at your life from a whole other perspective. You get a broader view of everything but you also finetune the lens which allows you to look at the details of your life. Details you might have missed while raging through your days.

2. Sleep more!

Sleeping is not an indulgence, it is a fundamental necessity that guarantees our overall health. It is crucial for a healthy working brain, to prevent disease in the long run, it regulates our hormones, it allows our bodies to recover and rejuvenate, it is imperative for our mental and emotional health. And yet, too many of us still look at sleep as an indulgence. I know life happens, people have babies, animals, work schedules… But be honest with yourself! Where could you incorporate more sleep? Could you focus on a more regular sleep schedule? Could you incorporate more naps to give your body and brain the boost it needs? Naps have an amazing impact on your overall wellbeing. Though a nap of 20 minutes isn’t long, it can have a profound effect on the way you feel.

3. Create a soothing morning routine!

Though sleep is profoundly important, being able to wake up slowly and start your day with a sense of calm is equally valuable. Let me paint you two scenarios here:

Scenario nr.1:

You wake up to a screaming alarm clock, nearly causing you a heart attack and/or pissing you off for it having the nerve to command you to get out of your warm and comfortable bed. As if this happening once in a single morning isn’t traumatic enough to your entire system, you decide to press snooze not once, but twice!

The day hasn’t even started yet and you already feel irritated and cortisol (stress hormone) surges through your veins. You already stressed out your entire nervous system without even knowing it. Your heart rate goes up, your breathing is shallow, you soothe yourself with a shot of caffeine on an empty stomach to get you going. You roll in and out of the shower.

You gulf down a sugary snack that you confuse for being breakfast. You yell at your kids to hurry up, why are they so slow?! You yell at your dogs, ‘where are the damn leashes?’. To ‘warm’ your heart even more and to inject a sense of powerlessness into your veins, you decide to put on the News. Thinking this will make you a caring and well updated human being, you seize to realize how this bombardes your brain with crippling anxiety.

Scenario nr.2:

You went to bed on time the previous night which allows you to wake up early enough while feeling well rested. There’s no hysterical alarm clock, there’s no snoozing. You carefully open your eyes, stretch your arms and take a deep breath. You sit upright and you drink that big glass of water that you put on your nightstand every night before going to sleep. The day starts with a soothing shower and you nourish your skin with a delicious skin care routine.

Dressed in your beautiful and comfortable homewear clothes, wearing your favorite perfume, you go downstairs and greet the pups and/or wake up your kids. After giving the pups their morning kiss, you let them out in the garden. You open the windows to allow fresh air to enter your house (yes even during the winter months) and you put on your favorite music list. You prepare a nourishing breakfast that doesn’t spike your blood sugar. To regulate your nervous system and invite calm into your day, you decide to do a guided meditation and some gentle yoga to fully wake up your body.

Now be honest with yourself, which scenario are you most familiar with? There’s no judgement, just try to be very honest with yourself. And which scenario would bring more nourishment and softness into your daily life? Willing to experiment a bit and see how this might positively impact your overall wellbeing?

4. Incorporate a soothing evening routine!

How successful your morning routine will be is highly dependent on what your evening routine looks like. It is important to unwind a few hours before bedtime and allow your brain to unplug from all the excessive sensory input we are constantly exposed to. Allow your digestion to rest by not eating 2 to 3 hours before going to bed. This deeply influences how well you will be able to fall asleep. Try not to do or watch anything that is too activating before going to bed.

Turn off all technological devices and TV and unwind with a guided meditation, breathwork, yoga, or read something that feels inspiring and soothing. Take a shower or a long bath and treat your skin with high quality skincare products. After all, our skin is our biggest organ and is the only organ that is exposed to the outside world. Taking good care of it is therefore not a luxury but a necessity. In addition, you could make yourself some lavender or chamomile tea to relax your nervous system as you unwind and signal your brain that it is safe to fall asleep.

Try to go to bed each night around the same time and treat your evening routine as a non-negotiable. In time you will notice how this improves your overall health and how nourished it will make you feel.

5. Cook your meals!

Incorporate play and creativity into your days by cooking your own meals and experimenting with new recipes and ingredients. Be the Picasso of your own kitchen and play around a bit, this is how I come up with my best dishes. If you don’t have time or energy to cook every day, try to prepare meals in advance and in bulk. I love going to markets to buy fresh produce and flowers, it’s very French! Bring your treasures into the kitchen, put some music on in the background or listen to an inspirational podcast and get cooking. Nothing quite as nourishing as cooking delicious and healthy food for yourself and your loved ones.

Release the need for perfection

I hope these were useful to you and that you can implement them in your daily life. Release the need for perfection, life tends to intervene and we adjust accordingly. However, if you want a life where you feel like you are the captain of your own ship and you want to lead an intentional life, it’s a good idea to recalibrate from time to time. Revising and letting go of habits that no longer enhance the life you want to lead and the woman (or man) that you want to become.

Love,

Wendy