How do you say goodbye to someone you love?

You don’t.

You simply hold them close to your heart, give them a kiss on the nose and you say:

‘This is not goodbye.
This is see you later my darling.’

My Milly, my beautiful girl with the most mesmerizing eyes. My wild child.

You came into our lives 12 years ago as a traumatized and wilful dog. You were only around 2 years old and had encountered so much human malice. It did leave his marks, both physically and mentally. Even after 12 years, you’ve always kept somewhat of a distance.

Always ill at ease with people’s intentions. I told you I loved you on a daily basis, stroked your fur and kissed your nose many times. But I was still not allowed to clean out your ears properly, or give you a Spa treatment. You always feared being trapped and you would literally scream. I would lie if I said this didn’t make me feel helpless and frustrated at times.

But I get it sweet Milly. I really do. You taught me a lot and you were often a clear mirror to me. A mirror that reflected back my own inner restlessness and fear of being trapped, my own tendencies to distrust and the need for solitude and independence. My frustrations with you were just as much my frustrations with me and the resistance to what was in my own heart.

There’s no such thing as coincidence. You were ours and we were yours even before we knew it. Not as in possessing each other but as being each other’s guides, caretakers, mirrors. A soul contract.

Though my heart aches and your loss feels disorienting, I am grateful. For how you lived, how you loved and ultimately, how you’ve passed… Under the Magnolia tree, in your beloved garden.

You are so loved Milly.
In this life and the next.
See you later.