How to remain emotionally and mentally healthy when the world is on fire

I don’t know about you, but to me, the brutality of this world brings me to my knees more often than I am willing to admit. It seems like peace and respect are so difficult to come by. I even find it difficult to wrap my thoughts around this and put them into words. They seem to be all over the place, thoughts that have no particular beginning nor ending. It is loud in my head, that I do know. And I feel a fluttering in my chest, a nervousness that feels harrowing.

I feel a deep sadness.

A sadness that I would’ve mistaken for rage in the past. It’s easier to feel rage than to feel the full spectrum of vulnerability that comes with admitting to feel sad. The more I think about it, the more I realize how most of us are experiencing this sadness but feel more comfortable with rage. In a twisted way, rage makes us feel more empowered. In reality it only fuels an already inflamed world. We don’t need more rage, we need a softening into our humanity, we need to feel through the vulnerability instead of suppressing it.  

I realize how privileged I am to be safe and in the comfort of my own home. However, even just mentioning this out loud makes me want to revolt. Safety, wellbeing and comfort should not be considered a privilege, these are basic human needs. In fact, not just to humans but to all living creatures.

Empathic distress

Though I am mostly very mindful about what I expose my brain to, mainstream news through media and social media has been nearly impossible to avoid lately. News and reactions that seem to echo fear, hatred and despair. Very little vulnerability nor communication and a whole lot of pointing fingers. The truth is that we won’t shame and guilt trip each other into change or into caring. I think a lot of us care profoundly and to our own detriment, as powerlessness and overwhelm swirls around our ankles, slowly creeping around our hearts. We feel tied, freeze, shut down and withdraw.

This withdrawal is not selfishness nor is it always conscious. It is however, a self-protective mechanism that shields the self from overwhelm and distress. Being continuously exposed to news and images of people and animals in distress from all over the world is something our brain did not evolve to cope with. Empathic distress is a serious thing that negatively impacts our mental and emotional health, and eventually also our physical health because prolonged chronic stress leads to physiological suffering as well.

Do we stop caring?

Does this mean we should stop caring all at once and shut ourselves off completely?! No! Of course not. But how does being chronically overwhelmed help anyone?! How does being chronically heartbroken and enraged change anything?! It doesn’t! An even more profound question to ask is how many of us want to live in a world where there is peace, respect and civility?! And how many of us are unwilling or unable to muster any of it up in our daily lives and interactions? Truly, how many?

It might seem insignificant what we do or don’t do in our seemingly small, day to day lives. It might seem insignificant the way we choose to speak and interact with our spouses, neighbors, colleagues, the waiter, the person sitting behind the cash register at our local supermarket, animals, our resources, nature at large… But it isn’t small and it certainly isn’t insignificant because it all adds up, it has a compound effect and it ripples out. And with 8 billion humans on this globe, it is clear how this impacts the entire planet and everything and everyone on it.

Tips to move through our everyday lives

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and how we shape the quality of our environments and relationships by the way we choose to move through our days. I’ve come up with the following tips that I hope will help you too in your daily lives:

1. Know yourself

Get to know yourself on every level of your being. And no, this is not self-indulgent. If more of us would have a deeper and clearer sense of self, then we would be more inclined to take responsibility of our own hearts and wellbeing. There would be less pointing fingers and more accountability.  If we know who we are and what it is that we need and don’t need, then we are far less agitated, more confident and less vulnerable to manipulation. We would have more agency and realize that we have more power than we were made to believe. I truly believe that this is the first domino to drop, the one that sets everything else in motion.

2. Sleep

Don’t frown just yet because a lack of sleep has a profound impact on our overall health. Sleep washes away toxins and plaque in our brains, it stabilizes our hormones and regulates many physiological mechanisms and our emotional systems. Having a well-rested brain and body will make it easier to interact with our environments.

3. Mindful conversations

Don’t participate in conversations where your conversation partner is notoriously known for misunderstanding whomever they are talking to or are masters at twisting words around. Some people don’t actually listen to what you have to say and make it a sport to disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing.  Walk away, choose peace.

4. Meditation

Meditate daily so you have a way of connecting to yourself. This will ensure you know what is yours to carry and what isn’t. We often absorb so much of our environments and eventually these things become so embedded into our own system that we can no longer discern what is ours and what isn’t. Go inward before you allow the world to rush in.

5. Solitude

Daily solitude is a bit similar to meditation, but to me I mean solitude as in no interaction and limited, or at least a softened way of sensory input. Input that recharges rather than depletes. If you are anything like me and highly sensitive, you might have noticed that interactions cost you a lot of energy and time spent alone or with animals will feel rejuvenating.

6. Random acts of kindness

Random acts of kindness. It is often the tiniest of acts that have the greatest impact on hearts. Feed the birds, say ‘good morning’ to a stranger, compliment the chef if you enjoyed the dinner you just had, encourage someone, look someone in the eyes and smile ( how often do we look someone in the eyes?!), leave a thank you note on your colleague’s desk, bring freshly baked waffles to your neighbors… The possibilities are endless and the point is this: do not wait for others to show you kindness first, go ahead, be a rebel.

7. Brain health = mental health

Stay away from mainstream media. There is a difference between being informed and  being inundated by disastrous news 24/7. Like I said earlier, our brains did not evolve to cope with this. Brain health = mental health.

8. Physical movement

Move your body! It relieves stress and pent up energy and it induces creativity. It doesn’t have to be rigorous cardio, a stroll in nature or yin yoga will positively impact your wellbeing as well.

9. Screen time

Be mindful about the time you spend in front of screens. Create boundaries for yourself so you won’t fry your brain.

10. Social media

Be mindful about which accounts you follow online. Do they add beauty and inspiration to your life or do they induce fear and hatred? Our brains are malleable even as we age and connections are made based on the things it is continuously exposed to. This in time influences how we see the world and ourselves.

11. Positive input

If it is not a positive contribution to the quality of your life, it’s a no. This goes for everything, from the foods we eat, to the books we read, to the conversations we have, to the company we keep.

12. Slow down

Slow down, zoom out! Give yourself the time and space to be human. We are human beings, not human doings. In time, this will allow you the have a much broader view of what life is, who you are and what it is that you want.

13. Play

Play! This is such an underrated thing to do and one that has such a profound impact on our wellbeing. Draw, paint, cook, garden, visit museums, play tennis, take a pottery class, travel and explore… You don’t have to be good at it, you just need to experience some beauty and enrichment. It is not frivolous, it balances out the heaviness of the world and life. It will also inspire you to live life more profoundly and will cultivate an aesthetic mindset. Consider it to be a buffer to life’s hardships. It won’t stop the hardships but it will balance out the sour aftertaste because it adds a certain sweetness to your life. Moreover, play is also a way to get to know yourself better and allows you to explore what is pleasurable and what isn’t. It helps you to cultivate an appetite for life.

14. Read books

Read books! Reading has this amazing ability to humble us down because the more we read, the more we realize how little we know. In addition, it will help us to cultivate a broader view of the world because we’ll realize that everything is connected and that nothing is either black or white. Everything exists on a spectrum.

Even though I’ve written these tips, I also need a reminder from time to time. In the overwhelm of everyday life, I also tend to forget how easy it is to shift our focus. I hope this blog post inspired you to take care of yourself. I believe that the healthier we are, the more likely we are to stay connected to our own humanity.